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Lives We Never Dreamed A Worship Service by the Reverends Mark W. Christian & Jonalu Johnstone Presented to the First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City Sunday January 30, 2005
New Member Ceremony
Membership in this church is something that is very important but we sometimes neglect talking about joining the church as part of the normal life of our community. Today we set aside part of our service to invite people who have been attending for a while to join the church. First Unitarian Church does not have a set of creeds one has to affirm to become a member—but this doesn’t mean that membership should be taken lightly or rushed into on your first or second visit to the church. There are things you should know before joining this church. Joining this church carries with it certain responsibilities and expectations. Too often these responsibilities and expectations are unspoken. Today we give them voice. You should know that as a member we expect you to attend worship every week. We know, of course, that none of us can be here each week but look around this sanctuary and you will see a great many people who come to church here week in and week out—without regard to sermon title or speaker. To join a church is to make a commitment to be present. As a member of this church we expect you to enthusiastically participate in the activities and ministries of this church. Not every activity, not every outreach, is any individual’s passion but part of being a member entails supporting the work of the church because it is the work of the church and not because it is something that sounds fun or attractive to the individual. The church is larger than any one of its members. As a member of this church we expect you not only to support the activities and ministries of this church—but we expect you to help us chart our course to the future. We need and expect our members to see the brokenness of the world and rather than practice sullen resignation to suggest creative responses to the pain, suffering and injustice that prevail in the world. We expect our members to support the church financially. We expect our members to give from the abundance of their lives and not to mete out life’s leftovers to the church. We expect that, as a member becomes more involved in the church that the portion of their income that they share with the church will rise as an expression of their spiritual growth. Finally, we expect our members to grow and deepen spiritually. We expect that you will seek, rather then reject, experience to broaden your exposure and deepen your connection to meaning and mystery in the world. We hope and trust that the ways you participate in the church—your regular attendance, your involvement with groups and ministries, your outreach into the world, and your financial commitment to giving will help you to become a better person than you expected to be. If, understanding these expectations, you desire to claim us as your own, we invite you to come forward now, and with your signature offer us the strength of your presence. We invite those who will, to formally join the church at this time.
(New Members Come Forward)
Joining a church is but a beginning. We look forward to becoming a new and more diverse congregation thanks to the presence of each of our members—new and old. Please know, though, that churches aren’t perfect. If you hang around this church long enough two things are certain to happen. A time will come when the church breaks your heart. The church will eventually act, or fail to act, in a way that disappoints and hurts you. There will likely come a time when you break the church’s heart. Eventually you will do something, or fail in some action or response, in a way that damages the church or hurts some of its members. Please know that the covenant between us offers the hope and miracle of healing as long as we stay in relation with each other. It isn’t that it doesn’t matter what happened that went wrong—it is that what really matters is what happens after that. This expectation of failure and forgiveness is the final aspect of membership that we share with our members—new, old and in-between. You are now a part of us—and we of you—may our days together be joyous.
Meditation and Prayer From “The Covenant of Spiritual Freedom” George Kimmich Beach
We too easily wrap ourselves in the cocoon of our own congregational life and forget that we are part of a world-historical movement. We dwindle into coziness and forget what brought us together in the first place: the keen sense that what we want most is to be part of something great – a historical drama in which we are actors and everything we cherish is at stake… We are a covenant people, a spiritual community that is found wherever people come together in faithfulness to values that sustain and renew the common life of the public world. …[T]hose values are… expressed in every age and tradition; the prophets of ancient Israel announced them in ringing tones: justice, faithfulness, steadfast love, mercy, truthfulness, good will, and peace. These prophetic, covenantal values constitute us as a people. We did not choose them; by eliciting our commitment they “choose” us. They are not optional... but essential to... our being. The covenant people is found …wherever people form communities dedicated to sustaining and renewing this vision – whenever they say, “This is the very meaning of our life together.” I invite you into a time of meditation and prayer. Breathing, relaxing, going deep within yourself, connecting with your higher power, or spirit, or God, or your best self. Feel your connection with this congregation. Whether you are visiting for the first time, or have lived your life in this church, you have a connection, because you are here in this space today. I offer questions to reflect on in this space, in this spirit of holiness: Ask yourself: “What do I expect of this church and of Unitarian Universalism?” Maybe you barely know what to expect. Maybe your hopes and dreams are huge. However big or small, the more you clarify your expectations, the more you will be able to ask for what you need, to seek what would fulfill you. “What do you expect of this congregation and the larger UU movement?” And the second question to ask yourself: “What do I promise to this congregation and the larger UU movement?” Maybe your promise is to sit through this service. Maybe your promise is dedicate your life to spreading Unitarian Universalism. Most likely, your commitment is somewhere in between. The better you know your promise, the stronger you can commit to it. “What do you promise to this congregation and the larger UU movement?” Let us be together in silence. In that silence, may our connections to one another and to this institution be strengthened and sustained.
Lives We Never Dreamed A Sermon by the Reverend Mark W. Christian Delivered to the First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City Sunday January 30, 2005
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream When I want you in my arms,
When
I want you and all your charms Dream That song by the Everly Brothers hung in my imagination as I prepared for today’s sermon. I guess it draws me to an opening observation. I suspect that every one of us, at some time in our history, dreamed about what we would be “When I grow up.” Perhaps this is the four-year-old's dream of being a dancer, or the ten-year-old’s dream of being an astronaut. Maybe it’s the teenager’s dream of who that perfect soul-mate will be, or the twenty something imagining of a dream house, or the forty something dream of retirement, or…well the list goes on. Of course I know that plenty of our fifty, sixty and seventy something’s are still shooting for astronaut and dancer, aren’t you? As much as I know that everyone has dreams of what they will become I also know that few of those dreams come to completely true. How many of you are living in a place, in a way, with a person or with a profession that you never would have dreamed? I am. In many ways I am. When Linda, Scott and I moved to Las Cruces to begin our first ministerial settlement. We were extended the privilege of living in a parishioner’s home for a few months while we closed on a new house. It was a magnificent home out in the desert—perhaps 3500 square feet with a Master Bathroom about the size of this chancel. Cliff and Mary are what we called “Sun Birds” in Las Cruces. They were still enjoying the mild summer and fall of Vermont before returning to Southern New Mexico for the winter. They invited us to use their home without ever meeting us in person. It was an act of generosity of which I had never dreamed. When I visited with Mary on the phone she said something really surprising. “I never dreamed we’d have a house anything like this. We just had to put the money from home that Cliff sold into another house and this what we ended up with.” It is a common story in parts of the southwest. People who sell property in California or Denver or other places finding they have about twice the home where they are going than where they left. That street, of course, goes both directions. Before we settled on Las Cruces, I was in conversation with a church in the Los Angeles area—a church lovingly called “The Onion” in Sepulvada. One of the downsides—this was not a match in so many ways—one of the downsides was that the 75 thousand dollar home we had been living in back in Jones, Oklahoma, was—well—even I wouldn’t live in what 75 thousand would buy there. The difference is that we had a choice. We chose not to go to Sepulvada. Many people live lives they never dreamed—and they don’t have a choice. When I feel blue in the night,
And
I need you to hold me tight Dream Everyone has times they “feel blue in the night” and we all need to feel held at one time or another. Sometimes we need to dream because we are living nightmares. Many people live lives they never dreamed and lives that would, by most stretches of the imagination, be called nightmares. I see them all the time. There are a “Cast of Regulars” in the area who come by with regularity looking for food, money—anything and nothing. I don’t imagine there is a single person living in their car, in one of the flop houses in the area, at the Jesus House or on the street who “Dreamed” they would be living this way. As I visit with these people I am struck how it is a chain of events—frequently small events—that drag people down and bind them to a life they never dreamed they’d live. They are bound to a life I could never dream of happening to me, It’s just that sometimes you have no choice. I have come to believe that there are very few among us—maybe only four or five in this sanctuary right now—who are more than three bad things away from being on the street. Thy this on for size. Life is going along fine—you are living pretty simply in a rather modest home. Suddenly the company you work for reorganizes. Instead of working near your home you now work all the way across town—a half-hour commute. They also reduce your benefits, instead of paying for your health insurance you now have to foot the bill to the tune of five or six hundred dollars a month. It’s tight—you figure, but you think you can squeeze by. The story, it seems, is pretty much the same across the field you work in, so you can’t just change jobs. To make ends meet, you decide to drop your automotive insurance from full coverage to just liability—your car, after all, is paid for—you were hoping to buy a new one in a year or so—so much for that dream. On an icy commute to work one day, you slide through an intersection and wrap your car around a light pole. Now you are faced with the prospect of spending four or five thousand dollars, you don’t really have, to repair a car that might not be worth it. You need transportation to get to work—since the bus just doesn’t run from where you live to where you need to go. You are faced with a dilemma—and for good, bad or indifferent reasons—you decide that your first priority is to keep your job so you decide to let your health insurance lapse for a few months and use that money to buy and older (and you hope) reliable car. It isn’t as reliable as hoped and you end up late for work on occasion—then the bottom falls out. You, your spouse, or your kids get sick—and you have no insurance. Even minor sicknesses can run over a thousand dollars—if something major befalls you—heaven help you. All of these plot twists—or wrong decisions—are arguable. You might say, I would NEVER drop my health insurance, or I would NEVER have dropped collision insurance, or I would have found another job—but my experience is that until you have been there you don’t know—you can only dream about what you would do. I can make you mine, Taste your lips of wine,
Any
time, night or day I'm dreamin' my life away. Dreams can be nightmares and dreaming can trap us in places that we don’t want to be. I have friends who have dreamed, for decades, that their ship was coming in, any day now. They are waiting for something or someone set the highway to heaven before them. I can see clearly that the paved road is in the opposite direction to the way they are pointed—why can’t they see it? I really don’t know. There are sometimes that I want so badly to step in and tell them exactly what they need to do. Give up the dream of selling your art. Get a different job. Move out. Kick the kids out of the house. Quit drinking. Don’t go to Foleys—go to Goodwill. Quit dreaming. The problem is that I am dreaming that I really know what life is like for them. I am not sure I really know what life is like for me—much less for someone else. Jesus counsels us to be more concerned about the stick jabbed in our eye than the speck in someone else’s. What seems like a wistful pipe dream to me may be the heart and soul of another person. On this day I ask what is there about my life I never dreamed? I have been graced with the love of family and the respect of colleagues. I have been blessed with the chance to do ministry here in the church I grew up in—something I never dreamed possible until it was happening. I have been blessed with an openness to the musings of the Spirit that lead my heart and soul to places that restore me when I am weary. I say these things come to me by Grace since I repeatedly discover that much of the good I enjoy comes to me unbidden, unearned. There are the bad dreams, too. When I was young, I never dreamed I would be so out of shape that even the thought of running a mile could precipitate an ambulance call. I never dreamed that that it would take 10 years to pay off some credit card debt we acquired while I was in seminary. These, though, are things I can deal with. They point to things that I must deal with better than I do—but they are things within my sphere of influence. I have my bad dreams—but I am not among those who have been caught in the “Three strikes and you’re out” aspect of life. The old phrase, “There but for the Grace of God” seems to fit. I guess my message today is to be aware not only of the life we planned—but the parts of the life we live that we never dreamed. This awareness includes accepting that the universe sometimes provides us goodness unbidden and sometimes we confronted with challenges that are not of our doing. The first half of that proposition is called Grace. I guess the latter half is called Life. John Lennon observed that “Life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans” and that seems about right. This awareness includes the radical fact that we who are blessed with dream lives have an obligation to assist those who live lives they never dreamed. We have both the ability and an obligation to change the things we can change. Sometimes the things we dream for come about and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they come about because of our actions and intentions and sometimes our best practice and intention can’t make the mountain move. To be human is to dream. For good, bad or indifferent, to be human is also to live lives we never dreamed. I need you so that I could die,
I
love you so, and that is why Dream. As for the song which strung its way throughout this sermon. It is a love song but I also believe it is song of love for God, a kind of prayer for the God of our dreams and a hymn to that wholeness we dream of experiencing in our day to day living. AMEN
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