Moments That Matter (Carpe Ibidem)

A Worship Service by the Reverends Mark W. Christian & Jonalu Johnstone

First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City

Sunday April 24, 2005

Thanking the Dedicated—Volunteer Recognition

There are hundreds (if not thousands) of things that happen here at First Unitarian over the course of the church year.  We have a talented and dedicated paid staff who work very hard make things run as smoothly as possible.  The truth is, though, that however hard our staff work—their efforts barely scratch the surface of what goes on here at First Church.  Today I’d like to simply list the people who help us week in week out.  Today we thank our volunteers—we thank the dedicated.

·        Jim Ewbank, B. J. & Chuck McDermott, John Graham, Frank Roesler for Counting the Sunday Offering;

·        Margaret Roseboom for helping with Bank Deposits:

·        Pat Bailey—Order of Service Preparation and Bulletin Board Maintenance

·        Jay Bass for Helping with the Order of Service and with other Office Support;

·        Choir members, and particularly Sue Hakel Chair, Nancy Cain Librarian;

·        Barbara Gallivan who coordinates our Ushers—Anne Murray, Bill Dinger, Jap & Nancy Blankenship, Patricia Folmar, Charles & Marge Whitehair, Dennis Gimmel, James Gordon, Sarah McGettrick, Bill & Nadine Ellis, Carmen & Carter McBride, Fenton Rood, Betty Wyrick, Jon Scott, Bill Walker, Joyce Paylo, Michael Hodge, John Hinkle, June Lester, Linda & Ron Wasson;

·        Special Musicians:  Bill Hakel, John Hinkle, Carol Young, Sundra Flansburg & many more;

·        Newsletter & Announcement Editor—Pat Corley;

·        Newsletter Production Crew—Bonnie & Joyce Paylo, Marie Renfro, Bob Hirshi;

·        Library—Grant Isbell;

·        Kitchen—Pat Bond;

·        Grounds—Leonard Flansburg;

·        Facility—John Graham;

·        Trash and Recycling—Fenton Rood;

·        Jim Rice and Nathan Powell—Forum;

·        Lee Eddy and Pam Spagna—Bookstore;

·        The Policy and Procedure Committee—Eleanor Whitset, Margaret Roseboom and Jon Scott;

·        Befrienders—Nadine Ellis, Margaret Roseboom, Colleen Gallaspy, Nancy Blankenship, Jo Bragdon, Mary Burgess, Cheryl Brouwer, Allene Davis, LuAnn Faulkner-Schneider, Margaret Flansburg, Patsy Goddard, LeAnn Hanna, Jim Gordon, Jan Greene, Sarah McGettrick, Marge Russell, George Suiter, Karen Wilson, Andy & Paula Wood, Lana Henson, Jim Campbell, Carmen McBride, Marie Renfro, Marge Whitehair. Ginny Gregory;

·        Alliance Board: Marilyn Summers, Chris Lopez, Bonnie Paylo, Marge Whitehair, Ruth Gordon, Patti Kate, Margaret Roseboom, Mary Burgess, Ginny Gregory, Pat Bailey, Charles Whitehair, Linda Wasson, Pat Bond, Margaret Flansburg, Trina Morrison, Ann Hardy, Kathy Nyswonger.

·        There are a series of groups that are essential to the church’s functioning but if I mention everyone’s name we will be here all day.  As I mention one of these groups you serve on stand up or wave or take a bow or in some way sound off.

·        The Church Council, Board of Trustees, Committee on Ministry, Personnel Committee, Capital Campaign Committee, the Auction Committee and Nominating Committee;

·        The Possible Dream Canvass Committee—Bob Hill, Barbara Gallivan, Ginny Gregory, Bob Petry…plus all the Performers in our Canvass Celebration.

·        Endowment Trustees: Andrew Murray, Rob Hamm, Jap Blankenship

·        Nominating Committee:   Nathan Powell, Bob Hurst, Anne Marie Grassmann

One of the major parts of our church focuses on Religious Education or Lifespan Faith Development as it is increasingly known.  Particularly this year as we have embarked on a new form of programming it is important to acknowledge all the people who do so much work week in and week out.  I’d like to invite Terry Ward, our Director of Religious Education to acknowledge the many volunteers she coordinates and works with….

RE Volunteers:

Special event (parties etc) coordinator: Sundra Flansburg, Marge Brown Bright and all of their helpers

Bunny and Santa: George Suiter

Lifespan Faith Dev. Team: Valerie Atkinson, Barbara Zimmerman, Karen Petry, Robert Hanna, Genie Baumann

Youth Advisors: Ann McDermott, Deb Barnes, Jeff Conkin, Mike Hodge, Tammie Greenman, Hugh Meade

Chapel Musicians: Bill Hakel and Chris Morrison

Children’s Music: Chris Morrison

COA Task Force: George Suiter, Valerie Atkinson, Eddy Collins

QUUEST Task Force: Karen Petry, Ardis Marrs Steele, Tammie Greenman, Carmen McBride, Valerie Atkinson

The multitude of folks who worked on QUUEST over the summer, including the room designers: Maureen Harvey, Trina Morrison, Karl Call, Ken Ward, Elizabeth Muller & Carmen McBride.

QUUEST Curriculum Team: Sarah McGettrick, Ann Marie Grassmann, Carmen McBride, Jeff Conkin, Carol Richman, Jill Spangler,  & Chris Morrison

All of the rally rovers

The Jr. High Conference volunteers

Vacation Church School: Trina Morrison, Sarah McGettrick, Tammie Greenman, Brooke Ward, Cody Dudley, Scott Christian, Carmen McBride, Lulu Brooks, Elizabeth Muller

QUUEST Workshop leaders: Nora Kenney, Teresa Rendon, Maureen Harvey, Bob Hurst, Linda Christian, Patti Hurst, Chris Morrison, Valerie Atkinson, Eddy Collins, Chris Lopez, Bill Dinger, Linda Taylor, Cheryl Brouwer, Celeste Roth, Chris & Kathy West, Andy Wood, Bob Petry, Mairead Todd, Deborah Shinn, Patti Kate, Kari Darken Thompson, George Suiter, Fenton Rood, Troy Scott, Shahla Reynolds, Teresa White, Scott Christian, Genie Baumann, Karl Call, Carol & Michael Richman, & Hannah Swallow.

All of these folks support the RE program, some more behind the scene than others, all of the valuable and necessary. Thank you!!

I would now like to recognize and thank the adults who make the commitment to go the distance-to know the kids in a deeper way, to mentor them, spend time with them and guide their journey of religious learning and exploration. We dedicate this hymnal in their honor and will place it in the Von Stilli Chapel

Please rise and remain standing as I call your name:

OWL facilitators: Lana Henson, Bill Gouldy, Janice Martin, Andy Wood, Rob Hamm, Marilyn Artus, Fenton and Tempie Rood

QUUEST Guides: Barbara Zimmerman, Stephanie Bond, Ruth Males, Jill Spangler,  Tiffeani & Chris James, Dave & Jean McLaughlin &  Mike Wood

Preschool, and Jr and Sr. High teachers: Trina Morrison, Teresa & Alan White, Mike Hodge, Peggy Powell and Adam Lock.

Lest you think that is all—you should know I was only pausing to catch my breath!

Today we also wish to thank

·        LuAnn Faulkner-Schneider our Covenant Group Lay Coordinator and Facilitators: Margaret Roseboom, Stephanie Bond, Trina Morrison, Ann McDermott, Bill Dinger, Bob Broyles, Janice Martin, Cheryl Brouwer, Debbie Allen, Cortney Custer, Adam Lock, Marty Richardson, Joe LaRocca, Millie Parsons and Pam Spagna;

·        Wellspring Wednesday -- Committee Chair -- Pam Yarborough and Committee Members -- Pat Corley, Sheridan Ramana  plus Session Leaders and the cast of people who helped with setup cooking and cleaning;

·        Adult RE Committee -- Robert Hanna, Ann McDermott, Sandra Merchant, Frank Roesler, Bill Dinger;

·        Maureen Harvey for coordinating the Food Bank Project;

·        Maureen Harvey & Silver for facilitating our Sunday morning program Woman to Woman;

·        Web site: Jeff Conkin, Jim Gordon and Laura McMindes;

·        Social Justice Chair, Anne Murray;

·        Horace Mann Sparkplug: Sue Hakel;

·        Lana Henson and Ron Wasson for coordinating our efforts with the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee;

·        13^th Street Clean Up—Bill Bennett & the Sustainable Living Organization

·        Jim Gordon, Elwyn McMindes, and Ken Ward:, computer assistance and moral support to their wives;

·        Diane Nadelson and Cheryl Barr for fellowship dinners;

·        The Beanheads—that triumvirate of President Elect Bob Petry, President Ginny and Past President Dex Marble who see to so many of the things that happen here all the time;

·        Finally, I would like to thank all the members of my family—who assist me in my ministry in ways I can’t begin to enumerate.

There is an inherent hazard in this kind of recognition ceremony.  I am absolutely certain that there is someone I have forgotten whose service is both essential and appreciated.  I apologize up front for errors of omission.  My only recompense is that an error of commission of not acknowledging those people who I can would be worse.  In this hour, know how involved so many people are in the life of this church.  After church find someone who did something you appreciate and thank them personally.

Meditation

From Thich Nhat Hanh

Being Peace, pp. 5-6

            I would like to offer one short poem you can recite from time to time, while breathing and smiling.

            Breathing in, I calm my body.

            Breathing out, I smile.

            Dwelling in the present moment.

            I know this is a wonderful moment.

            “Breathing in, I calm my body.”  This line is like drinking a glass of ice water – you feel the cold, the freshness, permeate your body.  When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel the breathing calming my body, calming my mind.

            “Breathing out, I smile.”  You know the effect of a smile.  A smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your face, and relax your nervous system.  A smile makes you master of yourself.  That is why Buddhas and Boddhisattvas are always smiling.  When you smile, you realize the wonder of the smile.

            “Dwelling in the present moment.”  While I set here, I don’t think of somewhere else, of the future or the past.  I sit here, and I know where I am.  This is very important.  We tend to be alive in the future, not now.  We say, “Wait until I finish school and get my Ph.D. degree, and then I will be really alive.”  When we have it, and it’s not easy to get, we say to ourselves, “I have to wait until I have a job in order to be really alive.”  And then after the job, a car.  After the car, a house.  We are not capable of being alive in the present moment.  We ten to postpone being alive to the future, the distant future, we don’t know when.  Now is not the moment to be alive.  We may never be alive at all in our entire life.  Therefore, the technique, if we have to speak of a technique, is to be in the present moment, to be aware that we are here and now, and the only moment to be alive is the present moment.

            “I know this is a wonderful moment.”  This is the only moment that is real.  To be here and now, and enjoy the present moment is our most important task.  “Calming, Smiling, Present moment.  Wonderful moment.”

Breathing in, I calm my body.

            Breathing out, I smile.

            Dwelling in the present moment.

            I know this is a wonderful moment.

Moments That Matter (Carpe Ibidem)

A Sermon by the Reverend Mark W. Christian

Delivered to the First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City

Sunday April 24, 2005

I had a friend in college who would occasionally, out of the blue, erupt in a quiet moment with a loud sucking sound—“Sluuurp—That was a good one.”  At first I didn’t pay much attention to it—since I, myself, am not beyond offering an occaisional non-sequitur sound or action to simply add into the mix.  Eventually, though, I asked him what all the slurping was about.  “That was a second,” he replied.  Adding that, “Sometimes a minute or hour or day is just too much to digest.” 

I guess most of us remember that 1970s phenomenon of the yellow buttons or tee shirts with the “Smiley Face” that proclaimed “Have a Nice Day.”  I guess my friend was riffing on that notion a bit with the added focus that you may not really be able to have a nice day—but maybe you can have a nice moment!  You probably know the popular phrase is “Carpe Diem”—Seize the day.  My friend was suggesting what I call “Carpe Ibidem”—Seize the moment.

I am not sure we have anything more than moments.  We may categorize things by days and weeks and months and years—but the truth is we experience them moment by moment.  I may try to remember my childhood.  What I really remember though are moments, like the one downstairs in the basement of Elliot House where I learned to sing “Rain, Rain Go Away” and “Here is the Church, Here is the Steeple.”  I may think I remember playing little league baseball—but what I really remember is the one time I shoved my glove up in the air and the ball actually ended up in it.  What I really really remember is the time I got hit between the eyes while trying to hit the ball (that explains a lot doesn’t it?).  What I really remember is striking out the as the last hitter in the bottom of the last inning in the one game that season we got to play “under the lights” on a real diamond—not out on the play ground of some elementary school.  Good moments and bad moments—but I think we experience things in “Slurp” sized segments—“Carpe Ibidem”

We do ourselves a disservice when we forget that moments are what we remember.  Perhaps one of the most important moments in my life came as a sophomore in High School.  I was going out for the John Marshall wrestling team—and had come home from practice sore and exhausted.  I remember sitting in bathtub with the shower running and weighing my ability as a wrestler versus the other area of school-life that attracted me—speech and debate—and decided that I would always be a “B-team” wrestler but that I actually be good at rhetoric and forensics.  My life changed, perhaps significantly, in that one split second. 

I went in the next day and told the coach that I had decided not to pursue wrestling anymore—that it wasn’t where I wanted my life to go.  You see, I remember that moment, too.  I remember mustering up the courage to quit.  I also remember Coach Maxfield congratulating me.  He told me I had done something important—“Most of the guys just stop coming to practice.  The fact that you came in to tell me what was going on says something.”  As much as I remember the decision—I remember being reinforced by someone I respected when I passed along my decision.

Both of those moments have stuck with me.  Both of those moments matter to me—nearly 35 years later I am certain that both those moments not only effected my life—but they continue to effect my life.  It’s not just the good moments, though, that matter.  I remember being teased as a fat kid—not only by other kids but I remember comments from adults whom today I am sure, had no idea they were saying something I would carry around for the rest of my life. 

I have shared rather benign moments with you.  I also remember some rather stupid moments.  Moments when I chose to steal and lie and cheat and betray friendships and confidences. 

There is a very tricky balance to strike in all this—many of these moments were not entirely of my doing but they are my moments.  They are the moments that matter to me.  I can’t legitimately be responsible for “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” that have been hurled my direction.  At the same time I guess I can’t take entire credit for all the celebratory moments either.  I am not completely and legitimately responsible—but I am also not “Not” responsible, if you know what I mean.

Some of us have had far worse things perpetrated against them than the things I have shared.  Some of us have been persecuted and beaten and robbed and worse—and I in no way am saying that anyone is deserving of these or any forms of abuse.  While we are not responsible for actions taken against us, what we are responsible for is how we deal with those moments.

I deeply love the paradox that Kurt Vonnegut captures in Slaughterhouse Five with race of aliens he calls the Tralfamadorians.  These characters exist in way that they experience time all together instead of in a linear unfolding pattern.  Thus they have always known everything that will happen to them—how they will live and how they will die—they even know how their world will be destroyed.  The Tralfamadorians, though, simply choose not to live in the bad moments of life. 

That’s a very neat trick, I think, and much easier to say than do for we humans I fear—but there is something to this.  We all have moments—moments we can’t change and can’t forget.  We have moments that we have succeeded and embodied our highest sentiments.  We have moments when we have failed—affirming humanity’s most base impulses.  We have moments when we have been ailed and assailed and we have moments when we have sailed through on the work of others who have gone before us.  We all have these moments.  The question is—what do we do with them? 

I shouldn’t absolve myself of responsibility for the things I have done and at the same time I shouldn’t beat myself up over things done to me.  I shouldn’t avoid acknowledging the moments of pleasure and reward I have known but I also shouldn’t take credit too quickly for success.  The central paradox is that at one level all these things don’t matter.  They are, just moments—nothing more and nothing less.

There is an old saw that asks, “What have you done for me, lately?”  And as unfair as that may seem sometimes—it is the true and rightful approach to life.  Life really isn’t a question of “What happened?” it is a question of “What happens next?”

It’s moments that matter.  They really do.  It’s not days or weeks or months or years or decades—these are all made up of moments.  In a moment the world can change.  For good or ill—our lives can change in a moment.  This week as we considered the 10^th anniversary of the Murrah Building bombing—I think we had a great chance to reflect on just how much things can change in a moment.  Worlds can be deformed and transformed in a moment—and often we can’t undo what happened.  All we can do is live into the next moment as it unfolds—“Carpe Ibidem”

In this morning’s Processional Hymn James Russell Lowell suggests “Once to every soul and nation comes the moment to decide, in the strife of truth with falsehood for the good or evil side.”  Russell gets it right—mostly.  It is not that the moment of decision comes “Once to every soul and nation.”  This decision for good, and against evil, must be tested time and time again—moment by moment. 

The immediate and repetitive nature of these decisions was brought to the surface for me again this week.  You see, Fenton Rood “caught” me throwing a recyclable bottle into the trash instead of the recycle bin.  You might say he gently helped me modify my behavior toward a just end.  What Fenton really did is to remind me that decisions like being an environmentalist have to be manifested again and again and again in moment after moment after moment.  The same is true in a myriad of facets of life.  Those of us who struggle with alcoholism, substance abuse, pornography, low self-esteem, diet, exercise and a whole constellation of human frailties know that right decisions must be repeated time and again.  It’s the moments that matter—sometimes “One day at a time” is just too much.  Sometimes moments are the best thing with which we can work.

Moments matter—there are the moments we know we have fallen in love, or tasted life directly, or accomplished a matter (small or great) that gives us hope.  Those moments are never taken from us either.  It’s just that we can’t live in those moments.  We can’t rely on those moments.  We can only remember those moments.  We must always be prepared to live in the next moment—to do otherwise is mere nostalgia.

Today, know that moments matter.  Use that knowledge to live in the moments that matter, the moments that help you—not that hinder you—to live in this and the next and the next and the next moment.  Today, know that moments matter.  Know that your moment also profoundly effects other people.  How you live in this moment not only effects those who you know and love and see and interact with—it also can effect things that you have no way of imagining.  Armed with knowledge—seek to be kind and caring whenever possible.

My old college friend my be inclined to make a slurping sound right now and say “That was a good one.”  The only thing I would add is “Carpe Ibidem.”  AMEN